“I’ll never drive a minivan!”
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard that,
usually followed by a rant about how ugly they are and how bad Soccer Moms
drive. If you believed those people, you would think your life was over the day
you “give in” and put the key in the pitiful ignition.
I was never one of those
parents. I proudly drive the minivan of minivans… a silver (slightly rusted)
1996 Uplander. I embrace my minivan with its crushed Cheerios (I hope they’re
Cheerios), crusty Kleenex (we mean to pick-up but no one really wants to), and
the lonely mitt who lost its mate, wallowing at the foot of the twins’ car seats.
There are perks to driving a minivan. Hello, priority
parking! Who’s going to question a minivan with two car seats, a booster seat,
and a parent schlepping out a twin stroller from the back? Easy escape for your
brood - sliding doors on both sides! Some drivers also have a tendency to give
minivans a wide berth. I’ll take all the space I can get on the road. Also, you
can put the nosiest kid in the back row, a full two rows back from the driver’s
seat – bonus!
A minivan is slightly less likely to be stolen as it’s
not exactly a high target for car thieves. Oh, and natural camouflage. Flocks
of minivans line the street outside my son’s school when I pick him up from
daycare. Three of us happen to drive the same make, model and colour of
minivan. It can provide a little humour on a Monday evening seeing someone else
trying to open your van and getting nowhere fast. At least you’re not the only
one having a bad day.
And, yes. We even have the obligatory stick figure
family on the side. We were going to be “cool” and get the geeky Star Wars ones from online, but my oldest son feel in love
with ones at the dollar store. Sure, why not, kid? I’ll embrace that cliché
with gusto. I’m proud of my family whether other people think I’m a dork or not.
Want to know the only thing I regret about my minivan?
Not getting the extended version! We have so much stuff we had to get a trailer
when we go out of town to the grandparents (I only wish we were joking).
Finally, yes, I have driven it to a soccer game. But,
I’m mostly a Karate Mom and have the belt to prove it – so be careful before
you knock my ride!
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